Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Calling all Goofballs....

I don't know what has happened to my brain!  I've been on a goofball rampage lately.  I mean, I've had goofball moments, believe me.  Remember, I teach high school.  You can't teach high school without goofball moments.  But lately, I think my brain has become detached from something important...like oxygen. 
 
It could be a lack of sleep thanks to my 2 1/2 year old son's "monsters in my room" phase.  He's been up a couple of times a night for the past few weeks.  Dear Hubby and I are near zombie stage.
 
It very well could be stress due to the fact that I'm apparantly completely responsible for thinking of every single thought and action for my family (Did you potty?  brush your teeth?  take your vitamins? change your underwear?  Did you Dear Hubby?  Just kidding...kind of.)  I don't think anyone in my family would bathe without me reminding them of our fancy indoor plumbing.
 
I've even checked my medicines online for side effects that might explain this stuff.  No mention of goofball like behavior.  A lot about mucous, though.  Ewwww.

All I know is I've made myself look like and feel like an idiot more than a dozen times in the past couple of months and I don't seem to be letting up any.

I can tell you need a list, so here you go:
 
1) I unloaded and put away all the  DIRTY dishes from the dishwasher.  The last coffee mug clued me into the fact that the load never washed.  Then I tried to find everything I'd put away, but decided finally they weren't that dirty afterall.  Anybody want to come over for dinner?
  
2)  I washed a large load of clothes on a small load setting AND dried them before I realized what I'd done.  I don't recommend.  You've never seen wrinkles like that.  I considered throwing the clothes away.
 
3)  I wore my house shoes out in public.  I quickly adapted my errand running to all drive-thrus.  They are cute house shoes, though.  I probably should show them off. 
 
4)  I dropped my daughter's lunch box behind the refrigerator (twice).  It's currently still there (until Dear Hubby decides to retrieve it).

5)  I dropped an entire pot full of steaming hot green beans on the newly mopped floor.  I'm sure I would never had dropped them had I not mopped.  As I cried over spilt green beans, Dear Hubby cleaned up saying how good those green beans smelled and how perfectly they would have gone with the pot roast.  Somehow, he was trying to make me feel better...somehow.
 
6) I shaved only one leg in the shower.  Managed to get both armpits, though.  I'm thinking shaving one leg a day might be the way to go.  Saves water?  Hmmmm...

7)  I sent a complaint email to Netflix because they hadn't sent my new movie yet.  It would have helped if I'd mailed back the previous one.  It was sitting next to the computer monitor while I was emailing Netflix.  Genius!
   
8)  I sent a text to the wrong person.  Fortunately, it wasn't a romantic text.  That could have been hard to explain.  Actually, I'd have a hard time explaining to Dear Hubby if I sent him a romantic text.  He'd totally think I'd lost it.

9)  I flushed my cell phone down the toilet and went in after it.  No luck.  I couldn't even call anyone to tell them.  I didn't know anyone's number.
  
10) I left the refrigerator door open for 1/2 a night.  Blamed it on the dog.
  
11) I washed a clean load of laundry that SOMEONE who will remain nameless (whose initials are D.H.) removed from the dryer in such a way that they appeared to be dirty clothes.  Who's the real goofball here?

12) I wrapped Christmas presents but forgot to label several of them.  That was a good hour of confusion.

13)  I left point A to drive to point B (a route I've taken a dozen times).  Ended up at point C (more like point Z) with no idea how I'd gotten there.  My almost 10 year old had to explain it to me.  Maybe she should drive while I read Harry Potter in the back seat.
 
14)  I tried to open a car door that wasn't mine in the Target parking lot.  I mean I really tried.  It wasn't even the right make and model...or color.
 
AND...

15)  I caught myself totally talking outloud to myself in the Walmart cereal aisle.  The worst part is, I told myself to stop talking outloud to myself...OUTLOUD.  It went like this, "I think I'm talking to myself outloud.  Sheesh, Renee! Stop talking to yourself!  What are you, an idiot?"  I didn't answer myself because I really didn't like my tone.

So, any goofballs out there?  I need company.  It would make me feel a lot better to know you are there and maybe a few specifics on the goofball things you've done recently.  Maybe we could form a goofball club.  We could have monthly meetings and try to out goofball each other.  A secret handshake... Honorary celebrity members...  Nicknames...  A cool logo....  This could be fun.  We could blame all of our goofball stuff on our family members and coworkers and pets.  What do you think?  Any takers? 

Calling all Goofballs!



     

4 comments:

  1. Give that boy a bottle of monster spray, STAT! I am sure that I can join your club, when Delaney was a baby, I showed up at school with her still in the backseat. Try explaining that one to your childless principal. I (too regularly to admit)show up wearing one black and one navy blue shoe. I grocery shopped a full cart full before getting to the register and realizing that I didn't have my purse.....and so on and so on. Maybe it is age, but I blame it on my kids. I was somewhat smart before I had them, really.

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  2. Ok girl...take a pregnancy test...I don't mean to alarm you but that is the only altered state of mind that could explain this recent turn of events! :)

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  3. Signing in for the goofball meeting. :)

    And I thought the exact thing Owen family said - may want to pick one up.

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  4. Certainly no need for any test (other than a brain scan). A little surgery back in October took care of that issue. Thanks for the concern. This doesn kind of remind me of "baby brain". :)

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