Thursday, December 23, 2010

My son, the Ninja Magi...

My darling children participated in our church Nativity play last Sunday.  I knew Darling Daughter (almost 11) would do just fine.  She played the prophetess Anna who worshipped day and night at the temple.  She knew exactly where to stand (or kneel in this case), what to say, and what NOT to do. 

But, Darling Son (3 1/2) had me worried.  He had a pretty big role, a dual role in fact:  one of the Magi and Jesus ("Not Baby Jesus, Mommy.  Almost four-year-old Jesus." he proudly told me after the dress rehearsal.)  DS had done great in his school Christmas play the week before and enjoyed himself so much, maybe this would go really well.  Maybe...

I knew we were in trouble when DS awakened Sunday morning and stated that he wasn't going to be in the play at all.  His stubborn streak is immeasurable.  We all coaxed and begged, but he wouldn't budge.  DH told DS that he would be in the play or he would be in time-out all day (Oh, sure. That'll work! Just like a man).  DS didn't budge an inch.  He wasn't doing it.  Period.

We arrived at church and the children were all getting into their adorable costumes.  DS began to scream and cling to me as if the floor were covered in snakes.  I was ready to give up, make our apologies, and find a new congregation, when DD came up with the one trick that changed DS's stubborn mind.  "If you do it, Mommy will buy you a toy."  Bribery.  Why didn't I think of that?  Oh yeah, because it's Christmas, I have no bribery money, I didn't want to stoop to that level, I DON"T want to go shopping, AND DS wins!

It surely worked.  The tears immediately stopped.  A big smile appeared on his chapped lips.  An "I knew if I threw a big enough fit I'd get a toy" twinkle appeared in his eye.  Grrrrr....

DD got him dressed and I went off to join the other parents praying that their kid wouldn't be the one to ruin the whole production.

DS spent much of the time waiting to hit the stage picking his nose, adjusting his Magi hat, and climbing over the back of the chair. 

We're so proud...

DD did her part perfectly (in the middle). 
Of course, she's a pro by now. 

Well, Baby Jesus had been born and it was time for the Magi to visit.  DS didn't have the "gold" to bring to the newborn King.  He'd left it in the dressing room.  No problem.

It was time for his big line:  "Where is the King of the Jews?"  He delivered it almost perfectly in his sweet 3 1/2 year old voice with his mouth completely engulfing the microphone:  "Where is the King of the Juice?"
The audience smiled and laughed softly.

As the Magi sat around the throne of King Herod, it was time for another older child to speak.  He had several lines.  He was dressed as a soldier with a sword.  I believe he was one of King Herod's highly trained guards, but DS managed to unsheath the soldier's sword while he was delivering his lines.  Another magi and DS wrestled over the sword for at least a minute.  Neither would even consider letting go.  DS finally wrenched it away from the older, stronger, magi (as DH pointed out).  For the next several minutes, things turned "bloody".  DS "sawed" off the arm of the soldier, put several viscious "slashes" across his back, and finally "beheaded" the soldier just as he finished his last line.  DS had become Ninja Magi! 
The audience was rolling in laughter, as were DH and I.  There was nothing else to do.  It was hilarious!  DH didn't even take a picture because he was laughing too hard.

Once the magi and shepherds went to visit Baby Jesus in the manger, DS decided to "shoot" at the narrator across the stage during this dramatic scene where he was supposed to be worshipping the newborn King.  I guess Mary and Joseph could have hired DS as a bodyguard for Baby Jesus.  I mean, it was a dangerous time.  So, DS really had three roles in the play:  Ninja Magi, Baby Jesus's bodyguard, and "almost four-year-old" Jesus.  DH and I might become stage parents!
The other young children quickly followed DS's lead.  One was twirling his crown on his arm while spinning in a circle doing some pretty good tricks.  A shepherd boy was tripping others with his staff.  The star refused to climb the ladder above the manger.  And so on...
The older children were either cracking up or mortified (guess which one DD was...totally emabarrassed).

The play came to an end with DS playing "almost four-year-old" Jesus (He grew in wisdom and stature...).  He had the last line of the play, which I think was supposed to be "Joy to the world."  The director tried to hand him the microphone.  DS crossed his arms and refused to speak.  I wonder if "almost four-year-old" Jesus had this kind of attitude?  Somehow, I doubt it.
Oh well...we all knew how the story ended.  The audience gave the children a standing ovation. 
When DS came to us we hugged him and told him what a great job he had done (what were we supposed to say?).

Can you guess the first words out of his mouth?  That's right..."Mommy, I'm ready to go get my new toy now." 
And do you know that DD followed with, "Can I get something too since I got him to do the play?"  Seriously?

I think I'm about to become Ninja Mommy!                          
(DS with bribery toy.  DD got a book.  Grrrr!)

Merry Christmas from our loony family to yours!  If you need your Nativity yard display guarded by a Ninja Magi, just let me know.          




  1. It was great! I can't wait to see if it will be played on YouTube.